@timdonakowski: I could make a sandwich before a British person finishes saying "et cetera."
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@kashanacauley: Can't believe there are so many songs about love and only one where someone welcomes someone else to a jungle.
@Jake_Vig: If you have twin girls and don't dress them like in "The Shining" and make them stand in hallways, you've squandered a precious gift.
@plumbur: I'm convinced that my washing machine is a portal to a world where one-legged men hop around in my socks.
@WheelTod: It's amazing the little things you learn about your kids as they grow everyday. For example today I learned my 3yo is kind of a mean drunk.