@TheCatWhisprer: I could never be a starving artist because the first time I got hungry I'd be like that's enough art.
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@jordan_stratton: All of our friends were having babies, so my wife and I decided we might as well go ahead and get new friends.
@Vodkantots: "And what will you do if you're crowned Miss Universe?" "I will have a special prosecutor put the first runner up in jail."
@schumoo: "20 McNuggets for $5? That's like a quarter a nugget!" I exclaimed, hoping that my dinner date would be impressed with my math skills.