@MariyaAlexander: I could never be an actress because I don't want kids and would never be able to say "but my favorite role is being a mom" at award shows.
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@CopBroughtPizza: todd: *sobbing uncontrollably* me: relax it was just a little earthquake todd's wife: he's an etch-sketch artist. it was everything he had
@miilkkk: Everyone says they want a fairytale wedding. But when I show up and curse their firstborn, suddenly I'm the jerk...
@living_marble: Technically, it's only cannibalism if you eat the top half of the mermaid, your honour.
@VodkaThursday: Just sang & made up multiple lyrics w/ actions to "If you're happy & u know it" for thirty minutes... In case u need help writing that novel