@aveuaskew: I could tell by the scowl on her face that her patience and botox were wearing thin.
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@Cpin42: Umm..I don’t want to be “that inmate,” but could you tell the chef that this needs more salt.
@ericas_twit: Just saw a billboard: $586.25 Complete cremation. 1) Is there partial cremation? 2) What's the 25cents for?
@joe_binkley: Things that are loud: Jet engines Dynamite Opening a bag of Sun Chips at a funeral Rock concerts
@kelkulus: My office got a shredder, so now I have to buy a turtle costume to fight it on Monday. Work is hard.