@aveuaskew: I could tell by the scowl on her face that her patience and botox were wearing thin.
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@OCDelight21: If you love something, set it free. (Does not apply to ferrets.)* *I am no longer allowed on the subway.
@yerpalmildsauce: Here it is, folks: "Do imaginary octopi have ... (wait for it) (wait for it) PRETENDACLES?"
@Jay_FrickinLynn: Me: Hi Kid: M: Still? It's been a week K: YOUR FIRST INSTINCT DURING A CAR ACCIDENT WAS TO PROTECT YOUR PHONE! M: You didn't die. Calm down.