@Consent2Treat: I could tell my parents truly loved me as a child. My bath toys were a toaster, radio and a blow dyer.
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@kingsleyyy: Conservatives after a mass shooting: "You can't take our guns!" Conservatives after a police shooting: "But he had a gun!" I'm confused.
@TravLeBlanc: I wanna write a tweet that is so good that I can retire and just live off the retweets for the rest of my life.
@EndhooS: Doctor: *taps knee with mallet* feel that? Me: No Doctor: or this? *jabs toe with a pin* Me: Nah Doctor: Just as I suspected. This is my leg