@Darlainky: I could tell you the story of breaking my arm sledding but be warned, it goes downhill fast.
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@Mostly_Cheese: I got locked out of my house after having dinner at an Italian restaurant. I had gnocchi.
@KeetPotato: me: [pretends to throw ball for my GF's dog and laughs] GF: "you'll regret that one day" me: "why?" GF: "my dog holds grudges" me: "don't be stupid" [one year later] priest: "does anyone here know why these two should not be wed?" from the back: "WOOF"
@KindOfASmartass: It really annoys me when people who barely know you want to become Facebook friends, like an old classmate or someone you've slept with
@squirrel74wkgn: [laying in bed] Wife: I’d rather chew on aluminum foil while listening to Nickelback Me: ...a simple, “I have a headache” would’ve been fine