@lilgapeach32: I could understand Eve's choice to doom all of humanity if she'd been offered nachos. But an apple? My ovaries are not amused.
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@moose_chocolate: This morning I waved to the garbage men and smiled at coworkers in the elevator and now I'm pretty sure my wife is drugging my coffee.
@causticbob: Illegal immigration is not a new problem. Native Americans used to call it "White People"
@duchesskk: "Let's play 21 questions" Nigerian Girl: how tall are you? Nigerian Guy: Rice. What's the worst thing you've done with a guy?