@garbagecoven: i couldn't remember the word "counting" so i told my friend to "do the number alphabet."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@HMittelmark: If somebody at a party tells you they're a writer, get excited, hold up the nearest book, and ask, wide-eyed, "DID YOU WRITE THIS?"
@trojansauce: DATE: *takes a sip of her water* ME: haha ok wow can you tone down the pda you're behaving very erotically
@realHamOnWry: My nephew asked, 'How will I know when I'm an adult?' and I said, ' When you hear your favorite Justin Bieber song playing in an elevator'
@offbeatoliv: When skiing it's always good to keep a photo i.d. on you in case they need to identify the body.