@InternetHippo: I couldn't remember the word tumbleweed
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@badbanana: When I want something a little healthier than an ice cream sandwich, I usually go for an ice cream salad.
@The_MartiniGirl: The sampler tester at the liquor store told me to stop coming back every hour in a disguise.
@jakob_huber: "What's your greatest strength?" Shadow puppetry "Seriously?" [interviewer presses intercom button] "Pat, please bring a flashlight in here"
@rebeccaheckyea: 2 cats smoke catnip and lay around, discussing Plato's Allegory of the Cave. "What if the laser pointer is just a projection?"