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@InternetHippo: I couldn't remember the word tumbleweed
@jake_lach: *Police bust through door*
-QUICK FLUSH ALL THE SUGAR
-I DON'T KNOW, THEY DO IT IN THE MOVIES!
@Douchekevin: Sometimes I like to send out texts to random numbers saying "My period is late".
@gumdropheaven: I eat children for a living
I said I feed children
Oh haha thought you sa-
TO MY MOUTH
@ElPasofist: The Easter Bunny doesn't always drink, but when he does it's hopscotch.
@Elizasoul80: "On my way" I said, pretending to drive my bed.