@girlontapas: I could've chosen a life of crime but it seems like it would interfere with my 9pm bedtime.
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@ambamthankyamam: Apparently my hub is a 92 yr old trapped in a younger body. He just referred to you guys as my Pinstagram friends.
@rad_milk: if the sun is such a cool and great star then why do all the other stars leave when it shows up
@blade_funner: Doctor: You have to stop eating donuts... Me: OK D:...so that I can start the operation. M: [STUFFING DONUT UNDER OXYGEN MASK] For later.
@krisv_723: *At hospital visiting a patient. Pulls emergency cord in bathroom* Nurse: What's the emergency ma'am? Me: This toilet paper is on backwards.