@girlontapas: I could've chosen a life of crime but it seems like it would interfere with my 9pm bedtime.
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@SCbchbum: "Don't kill it!" my friend pleaded for a spider's life inside. So I carefully trapped it in a cup, brought it outside, then stomped on it.
@Mindless4Miles: Saw a hawk swoop down over the highway and fly off with a snake in his mouth and I can't even switch lanes while eating a Twizzler.
@TheAlexNevil: Anyone can be a hero: Make a child smile Rescue a kitten from a tree Reverse Earth’s rotation to prevent an earthquake from killing your girlfriend