@badbanana: I cried because my Wi-Fi was slow until I saw a guy stuck talking with his kids because he had no internet at all.
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@RichardDawkins: Don't ask God to cure cancer & world poverty. He's too busy finding you a parking space & fixing the weather for your barbecue.
@BlondAmbitionTO: Grammar is: 1. How we structure our sentences. 2. Grandpa's wife. Some of you will pick number two.
@TheCatWhisprer: The best thing about the first day at a new job is nobody knows I only have one outfit.
@jiggynye: My daughter refuses to play with her Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.