@crylenol: I crunched the numbers and this is just incredible. what isn't he telling us. #Sharknado3
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@LoveNLunchmeat: upon my death: 1. tell my kids I loved them 2. give my daughter my jewelry 3. leave french fries in my coffin, just in case
@stephenjmolloy: [3rd date] Kate: You wanna come back to mine for coffee? Ian: Sure! Kate: Have you got any condoms? Ian: Do you not know how to make coffee?
@OfficialMizGin: I hate it when a guy pulls out a chair in front of me. I’m never sure if he’s a gentleman or a chair thief.