@SharkJelly: *I cycle off mt Rushmore and fall to my death but my bicycle lands on the end of Lincolns nose and makes a perfect pair of reading glasses*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@causticbob: I wrote 'DIVORCE', my wife wrote 'YES'. Tough way to find out, but at least I won our last game of Scrabble
@ThRealBallsDeep: Me:Siri, why don't I have any friends? Siri:*shows me my Google search history* M:Good call.
@Billhenry16: I buried a time capsule when I was 9. This is the year we are going to dig it up. I can't wait to see how big my puppy got.
@yendys1: Oh you like Oreos? Name five of their albums. And I'm talking their obscure shit like watermelon, none of this main stream birthday cake shi