@johngcaldwell4: I dated a magician once; she put her hand on my leg and I turned into a motel.....
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@themiltron: scientist 1: how did you discover that dolphins have sex for pleasure? scientist 2: [flashback to the craziest night of their life] math
@PaulyPeligroso: Why do people draw sunglasses on the sun? It's like, dude, he's the sun. They make sunglasses because of him.