@dlockw21: I definitely thought I would have shot the lock off of something by now in my life.
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@daemonic3: Top causes of divorce: 1. Finances 2. Infidelity 3. Unmet expectations 4. Growing apart 5. Tandem bikes
@MistookMistake: I always carry a flashlight with me. That way, if someone locks me in their car trunk, I can entertain myself with cool shadow puppets.
@StellaRtwot: I lit candles & put a trail of rose petals all over the house in confusing patterns so my husband can't find me drinking in the closet.
@jnrbtsn: He said he liked surprises, but when I showed up late at night dressed as a clown and knocked on his window, it's all screaming and shit.