@undeadmolly: I deliberately mispronounce 'quinoa' and then adjust the server's tip according to how condescending they are when they correct me.
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@TheTweetOfGod: The real reason David beat Goliath is that when David threw a rock, Goliath threw scissors.
@Book_Krazy: Yes, lady who took two parking spaces. I'm the reason you can't get in your car from the drivers side. Have a nice day :)
@Tbone7219: My favorite part about Black Friday is the part where I go to the mall, find a great parking spot & sit in my car with the reverse lights on