@SuperApple80: I deserve an Academy Award for the way I just searched the fridge with my son for his leftovers that I definitely ate.
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@MissNaughty1801: My mother in law:did you put the weight on? Me:no...actually I've lost some. You should have seen me month ago. I looked like you
@SeanEmeny: I treat women well cause I'm a real man. Also, if I'm nice to them maybe they'll come over and kill this spider for me
@theshamingofjay: If you're religious you dont get to pick & choose "You shall not make for yourself an idol" That Disney sticker means you're going to hell