@dumbbeezie: I deserve an Oscar for acting like I can see a baby when someone shows me an ultrasound pic
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@weismanjake: Hangman is a weird game to let kids play. Hey kid, if you don't think of this word, a random man will be put to death.
@MongooseMayhem: Date me? You can't afford the maintenance to keep me. Vodka, high heels, steak, shiny clothes, tonic, Victoria's Secret, and bail money.
@DanMentos: [commercial] "This commercial is so confusing. I wish they would just tell us what they're selling" narrator: Narrators
@Snarfernini: I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I'm better than you, but I feel really bad about it.