@dumbbeezie: I deserve an Oscar for acting like I can see a baby when someone shows me an ultrasound pic
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@BadJordon: Dominos just called to let me know my pizza's on the way. They correctly assumed I'd need time to find my pants.
@Home_Halfway: Charles Barkley sounds like a made-up name a dog would think of to get into a fancy country club.
@VodkaThursday: My bunny thumps at trash collectors. Nice to know that if the Sanitation Dept. ever has ill intentions, she won't stand for any of that shit