@carychowESPN: I did it! I found the worst thing on the internet. A combination of so much awful.
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@WarrenHolstein: Police say Oscar Pistorius is a flight risk. How? Does he also have a pair of propeller feet?
@othersome: the waiter grinds me some pepper. "tell me when." i never say 'when'. the restaurant and the city fill with pepper. sky turns black w/ peppr
@Iwriteforcats: Me: How much should I spend on an engagement ring? Jeweler: 3 months salary on the stone. Me: *Duct tapes pile of Fruity Pebbles together.
@ArfMeasures: DOCTOR: Im sorry, I can't see you right now ME: [wearing my new camouflage suit] lol that is so awesome