@FunnyCauseImFat: I did so much yard work today, I might get deported.
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@karencheee: Going to the gym is such a great workout. I never actually enter the building, but the walk there is nice. Sometimes I even walk back.
@NicestHippo: Props to every deodorant commercial ever for abandoning all creativity and just going with "If you buy this, women will have sex with you"
@Sickayduh: This girl won't stop crying because I told her that selfie filters wear off in 6 months.
@Storminika: If men could get pregnant, not only would abortions be legal, I think McDonald's would be doing it.