@FunnyCauseImFat: I did so much yard work today, I might get deported.
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@hippieswordfish: *tries to play a skeletons ribs like a xylophone* SKELETON: you cant...it's not- this is a mischaracterization perpetuated by the media
@OneTrickTofani: [At Wedding] Priest: And do you take me as your lawfully wedded wife? Me: I do. WAIT A SECOND Priest: TOO LATE. YOU'RE MINE NOW, IDIOT.
@mollymcnearney: Okay body wash, unless you're caffeinated and drinkable, you can cool it with the "energizing" claims. You're soap.