@justabloodygame: "I didn't choose the thug life." I explain, entering an institution of higher learning.
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@TuSoonShakur: [At the Amnesty International Open Summit] "OK, let's put it to a vote, what rights should humans be entitled to?" Kim Jong-un: "No rights." Raúl Castro: "Some rights." Matthew McConaughey: "All rights, all rights, all rights."
@Playing_Dad: Reporter: Is there anything you can do to make people hate you more? Rodger Goodell: Coldplay is doing the Super Bowl halftime show.
@AimeeHelene1: The best call ever would be "Hey, it's me!", but from your dog... Because: 1. Aww your dog's calling you 2. Holy shit your dog can talk!!
@faizziy: There are days & nights where I'm surrounded by profound Darkness, followed by a realisation that I need to stop wearing shades in my house.