@justabloodygame: "I didn't choose the thug life." I explain, entering an institution of higher learning.
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@Book_Krazy: Cop: Know why I pulled you over? "No" Cop: *points* Your buck naked [turns to deer in passenger seat] "Jesus Frank, put your fur back on"
@vikkaroni: When I say ditto after someone tells me they love me, it doesn't mean I love them. It means I love me too.
@Zwolf666: My neighbor's 13-month old only has four teeth. She's way too young to being doing that much meth.
@hippieswordfish: 'babe, i'm ready' -says my wife, from the bedroom 'be right there' -i say from the bathroom, trying furiously to untangle my yo-yo string