@SoulYodeler: I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me; mistakenly as it were because I have the nerves of a guinea pig and puke when I cry.
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@NikiWithIssues: Hey person who wrote "WASH ME" on my car, I know it wasn't my car that wrote that. My car doesn't speak English. I'm onto you.
@Book_Krazy: Cute cat "Thanks. We dont let him in though cause he shreds" You mean sheds? "No" [gestures to cat shredding to Van Halen on the back patio]
@Birdhumms: Me: Help someone is trying to gain entry to my home, send the police! Her: Calm down, where are they now? Me: Still ringing the doorbell
@CDMEclairs: Angry Birds for Olympics: Instead of hitting two birds with one stone, here you can hit two stones with one bird.