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@Shh182: I didn't fart, I flirted. That was a flirt!
*runs away flirting*
@PetiteRainCity: Either my cat is speaking English or that was not a vitamin I took....
@lazerdoov: Girlfriend: hey babe you wanna get breakfast and go for a run?
(Cut to me with a mouth full of Doritos)
Me: I have shin splints
@ElizaBayne: Just saw a dolphin with a tattoo of a college girl struggling for individuality and freedom from her middle class parents
@weinerdog4life: One of my stuffed animals just told me I should get back on my meds, I guess someone doesn't want to be part of tea party club anymore.
@leechee420: Watching a show about women who choose to give birth outside. Like, let's take the most painful experience of my life and add bugs and shit.