@turdfailure: I didn't get far in Mario. I thought the guy floating on the cloud was God so I just accepted it when he threw shit at me
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@LuckoftheDraw86: Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone.
@TheRealNickKay: [MURDER TRIAL] JUDGE: So in 27 years of marriage, you never knew your wife was allergic to salt? MR.SLUG:[Into mic] That's correct.
@FlyJ_: I went for a long walk yesterday and my pants are still tight today. This is not how exercise is supposed to work.