@SuperShourds: I didn't have a headache until you pulled your pants down.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheCatWhisprer: [pulling the casket a few inches away from the wall during a funeral] sorry just need to plug in my phone for a minute
@Brampersandon_: WIFE: Did you buy eggs? ME: Even better. I bought a goat. W: How is that better? M: *stares confusedly for a full minute* How is it not?
@ZombieProblms: Do zombies go to heaven when they die? I hope so. There's lots of nice people up there to eat.
@Book_Krazy: WAITER: Room for dessert? [flashback to the room at home that hides all my desserts] ME: [nervous laugh] Haha I don't have one of those.