@omgthatspunny: I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
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@thetobbie: Dudes, how can we keep track of how long it's been since we've been on a date? I mean, women can just measure their leg hair...
@jiggynye: My daughter refuses to play with her Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
@iwearaonesie: me: Go back! uber driver: Did I miss the turn? me [already in the front seat trying to find the station that was playing Taylor Swift]
@Tharin_P: The irony of my developing severely crippling stomach cramps minutes after reading a cheesy old love story isn't lost on me. *faints*