@omgthatspunny: I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
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@badenhorst: Bathroom hand dryers are amazing if you want to kill a few minutes before wiping your hands on your pants.
@EndhooS: Good cop "If you confess maybe we can cut you some sort of deal..." Crab cop *walks sideways off the table*
@haleysfalling: accidentally added a "z" to the end of the word "think" in a text and suddenly my jeans are sagging below my ass and i have 3 chains on
@EndhooS: "How did you get those scars?" [Flashback to me running into a glass door] They're from Cage fighting.