@zachheltzel: I DIDN'T SAFELY EJECT MY FLASH DRIVE AND NOW MY DOG IS DEAD
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@rev_revolver: once a woman in the mall said "isn't everything cuter with babies?!" and jeff replied "not coffins" and just stared at her until she cried
@MatCro: Ro-Ro-Robocop, Gently down the stream, Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Killing bad guys in old Detroit in revenge for his murder.
@ItsMrWoody2U: Me: bless me father for I have sinned. Priest: how long since your last confession my son? Me: about 45 minutes ago...
@Dirty_Naomi: I've decided to retire on Monday & live off my savings. Don't know what I will do on Tuesday though?