@poizngrl: I didn't see mommy kiss Santa, but my sister saw her kiss the mailman, which explains why I'm the only one with brown eyes in the family
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@GeorgeTakei: Many racist Trump supporters were stung by Clinton's speech calling them a "basket of deplorables." The rest had to go look up "deplorable."
@Home_Halfway: Dad: Tall latte Barista: Sure thing. Can I get a name? Dad: What your parents didn't give you one? *all the other dad's give him high fives*