@poizngrl: I didn't see mommy kiss Santa, but my sister saw her kiss the mailman, which explains why I'm the only one with brown eyes in the family
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@samalmightysam: You're born, you grow up, you start listening to a Pink Floyd song, you get married, have kids, you die, the song hasn't finished.
@BarryVonAwesome: Do you know who REALLY gets irony? Skydiving schools. Cuz you gotta drop out to graduate! *releases mic to float down on tiny parachute*
@internetluke: Being a software engineer is pretty cool because I can just stare at my screen/zone out & if anybody questions me I say I'm optimizing code
@Tmoney68: This baby at McDonalds may have started the screaming competition, but I guarantee I'm going to win it.