@AaronFullerton: I didn't see San Andreas because I heard there's not a scene where a therapist tells the seismologist, "It's not your fault."
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@BlotterMonkey: Experience with women has taught me that Jack was most likely pushed down the hill.
@StoferComic: My brief gig as a lounge singer ended when I asked 4 requests & realized I didn't know the song "Get Off the Stage or Die." Elvis, maybe?
@better_off_dad: '....annnnnnd now you have TWO hours before you have to get up.' ~The monster under my bed