@AaronFullerton: I didn't see San Andreas because I heard there's not a scene where a therapist tells the seismologist, "It's not your fault."
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@meganamram: When singers at concerts hold out the mic for the audience to sing, it's like what am i, your maid
@TheAlexNevil: *looks at fish tank 6: It's part cat and part fish? Me: No it's just a fish *Catfish maintains eye contact while pushing over treasure chest
@shesxridiculous: If I was a waitress, I would plant fake engagement rings in every girls champagne glass, just to watch the boyfriends panic.