@AaronFullerton: I didn't see San Andreas because I heard there's not a scene where a therapist tells the seismologist, "It's not your fault."
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@stephenjmolloy: Me: "I'd like to pay by card." Waiter: "Contactless?" Me: "No, you can cuddle me."
@T_Bonezzz_: Me: How bout we head over to my place? Her: Nope Me: I have a dog... Her: Get in I'll drive
@kikdbakbitch: 7: I need a pet pig so I can always have bacon. Me: There are some fundamental flaws in your plan but I like the way you think.