@AaronFullerton: I didn't see San Andreas because I heard there's not a scene where a therapist tells the seismologist, "It's not your fault."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iamhorcrux: Grading system for students in India: A - Average B - Below average C - Can't have dinner D - Don't come home F - Find a new family
@psybermonkey: [Getting back into van after museum heist] Me: Hey guys did you know that Neanderthals buried their dead?
@Death_Buddy: I have a cut on my leg Doc "Yeah that legs gotta go sir" But its a tiny cut "Sorry, I cant save it" *sharks fake doctor outfit falls off*
@MarfSalvador: GF: *vomiting in sink* Ugh morning sickness Me: Wait. . . wh-what? GF: I'm pregnant Me: Woah, slow down. Why did you call me sickness?