@WilliamAder: I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's no way I can run that far.
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@flashember: [Swims out to Sea] *sees shark* OH NO! *dolphins save me* Thanks dolphins! *dolphins ask for a tip [I'm broke] *they return me to the shark*
@WAYNES_O: When the mosquito landed on my face, it was one of the easier decisions of the day for my wife.
@SortaBad: ATTENTION: Can the owner of the 'MarioKart Champion' tshirt return to security? There are several women here who'd like to have sex with you
@internetluke: If Christian Bale has never cancelled a date and said "sorry to Bale on you" then I don't think he is living life to the fullest.