@WilliamAder: I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's no way I can run that far.
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@haolegurl808: One thing you can count on: For every idiot proof system devised, a new and improved idiot will arise to overcome it.
@ilovepie84: I once slowly roasted a Marshmallow over fire until the Michelin Man gave me some free tires.
@truegritrumble: (Disney Dating Tips) 1.Kidnap Dad 2.Coerce Daughter 3.Awkward music-filled dates 4.Angry mob danger 5.Stockholm Syndrome -Beauty & the Beast
@LordofScribble: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Slap a man with the same fish and the video will go viral in under 48 hours. #Truth