@Chumpstring: I didn't spend 8 years designing this hotel so I could listen to a bunch of touristy complaints about the small cameras inside the toilets.
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@AsgardianRose: "This is mine", he growled passionately into her ear. "Are we clear?" Breathlessly, she agreed. She wouldn't try to eat his nachos again.
@WilliamAder: My wife's been working in our garden for two solid days now. I never realized tomatoes required a big, six-foot-deep hole like that.
@ohpeetie: - "Did you know you can make a pizza crust out of cauliflower?" - "I'm going to reactivate my Facebook so I can unfriend you there too"