@Chumpstring: I didn't spend 8 years designing this hotel so I could listen to a bunch of touristy complaints about the small cameras inside the toilets.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: [bartender hands lady drink] courtesy of the gentleman down there [she takes a sip] is this - [me from the end of the bar] IT'S MILK
@Goofpoops: In case you were wondering, Taco Bell offers free wi-fi. Don't bother asking for the password, because it's totally "Cornhole Explosion".
@KKAlThani: I was in a good mood when suddenly twitter went down & I ran over a blind man, tasered a baby, killed a puppy & set myself on fire.