@chadzappa: I didn't spend years perfecting this blank, vacant expression so you could mistake me for someone who cares, lady...
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@TomTheWicked: Don't blame me. You're the one following a 32 year old man who just jumped into his bed like an Olympic athlete because scary monsters.
@iamjeffsloan: Still super weird to me that humans can make other smaller humans. I wish mozzarella sticks could make other smaller mozzarella sticks.
@infamousone96: You tell me to "walk a mile in your shoes" but the second I break into your house to steal your shoes, you call the cops. Make up your mind.
@dreamthievin: Everything I know about sex I learned from Tetris: rotate it and hope it fits in another slot