@GuyThe_Guy: I didn't want to make a scene but not fluffing my wife's pillows should get the point across that I don't appreciate the way she spoke to me
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@Home_Halfway: "Do you know how fast you were going?" 75 in a 55. I'm sorry officer. "Get out of the car." *Cop cuddles driver* "Stop doing this. I worry."
@SomePieceOfshit: Cashier: Have a great day [goes to cashier's home in the evening} Me: I have bad news
@ImFordTough: hey girl are you my ceiling fan because i'm pretty hot but also too lazy to get up and turn you on