@heidi420x: I disagree with liquor store hours. It's 8am..let me in.
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@PortRooster: Buddy of mine dropped some acid... Burnt a hole in the floor... He was tripping for days!
@daemonic3: [trying to impress fiancée's entire family] Waiter: Your bill for- Oh I got it! [looks at bill & spits wine] WHO ORDERED THE "SUBTOTAL"?!?
@maebemarbles: Not one person is cooler than the pigeon that just walked all the way into this Mexican restaurant, gently picked up a taco chip, and left.