@heidi420x: I disagree with liquor store hours. It's 8am..let me in.
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@AbrasiveGhost: GOD: I call them Water Buffalo ANGEL: But they live on land GOD: Yep ANGEL: GOD: ANGEL: u really dont care anymore do u GOD: Not a bit
@dyldonot: [first date] me: [don't let her know you're a microwave] her: my food is a bit cold me: [my head starts slowly rotating]
@david8hughes: [1st day as lifeguard] Guy: there's someone drowning in the water Me [not looking up from phone]: well it'd be hard to drown in the sand