@dbedalberta: I ditched my ex gf. For lying. Lying under my best friend.
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@theSwellMan: Probably the worst thing about dying a virgin would be all the dead terrorists that are waiting for you.
@AndyAsAdjective: [at checkout counter] Would ya like to donate $1 to- -No But you didn't let me finish -Is it $1 toward you shutting your mouth? No -Then no
@RainbowJohnJ: Superman finally decides, after realizing an entire city of people is duped by a pair of glasses, that Metropolis really isn't worth saving.