@CloydRivers: I do 8 sit-ups every mornin'. Might not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button. Merica.
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@bridger_w: No love I have for someone could ever be strong enough to make me think it was appropriate to stand side-by-side with them on an escalator
@JimmerThatisAll: It's raining men because the aliens are returning the abductees in the most compelling way possible.
@RVGisFUNNY: I just read an article about a man swept out to sea during a baptism. I guess that's God's Way of saying "Nope".
@sixfootcandy: I just left a pregnancy test box in my brother's bathroom to mess with him and his new girlfriend.