@CloydRivers: I do 8 sit-ups every mornin'. Might not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button. Merica.
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@ArfMeasures: HER: You ran over my cat ME: I'm so sorry HER: You're gonna have to replace him ME [imagines myself napping all day and pushing things off shelves] ok
@mishakey: Pretty weird to think that in the future, there will be old people named 'Hailey' and 'Brayden' running around in vintage Twilight t-shirts.
@Reverend_Scott: *T-Rex stubs his toe* OUCH I'M SO MAD. JUST... MAD. I'M... "Angry? Agitated? Irritated? Anno-" SHUT UP THESAURUS NO ONE ASKED YOU.