@CloydRivers: I do 8 sit-ups every mornin'. Might not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button. Merica.
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@WarrenHolstein: Having a traditional Columbus Day. Headed to a casino to hand out blankets with smallpox on them.
@KalvinMacleod: DOG 911: what's the emergency? DOG: a boy threw a ball but I can’t find it DOG 911: did u check his hand? DOG: of course I checked hi—DAMMIT
@maisonwithapen: ME: hey guys what's the herps? HIM: u mean haps? M: oh, haha yea. what's the itch?—I mean sitch H: uh M: hows it herpin? H: M: I have herpes