@EyeSeeYou619: I do a spot-on impersonation of Linda Blair in The Exorcist whenever a drive-thru cashier asks me to pull ahead bc my order isn't ready.
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@squirrel74wkgn: Establish dominance at your in-laws by continuing to eat that piece of fruit even though you didn’t know it was plastic.
@TheMichaelRock: Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
@fro_vo: Teacher: remember class, there are no stupid questions Me: *raises hand* Teacher: i just said, no stupid questions Me: *lowers hand*