@AphroditeAfter5: I do have a swimmers body, he's been in my trunk for days
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@booyahchadly: Before sending a tweet l always test it on my wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, l know it has potential.
@PaperWash: Tell us a scary story! Ok kids, gather around *holds flashlight up to face And I'll tell you all that is evil *puts wedding tape in VCR
@KalvinMacleod: HR: How do you think we can better handle this in the future? ME [glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut]: idk, maybe don’t hire Cheryl