@SignsofNature: I do not delete bad tweets that get no stars... I let them sit there and think about what they've done...
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@DanLaMorte: I look at beautiful girls the same way I look at traffic. Meaning that I'm stuck and going nowhere with them
@sweet_toof: With a stolen credit card, who WOULDN'T go straight to Wendy's to get 2 Double Stacks and a small Sprite? So thanks for asking for ID, lady.
@UncleDuke1969: The only highlight of a brutal moving day: Wife: "That's way too big to fit in the back door." 4 people in unison: "That's what she said!"
@Dr_awfulpants: [Spelling Bee] -Your word is phlegm -Can you use it in a sentence? *loudly clears throat for 5 minutes*