@kirkfox: I do not encourage eating cats. But judging by the amount of time they spend licking themselves, I bet they are probably pretty damn tasty.
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@UnFitz: Maybe we'd still be in the Garden of Eden if Eve had given Adam an Android instead of an Apple. You don't know.
@toomanytoes: Cat burglar: Quietly steals all your valuables Dog burglar: Eats your ham, sleeps in bed with you for awhile, wakes you up to go out at 3am
@UncleDuke1969: [job interview] Him: What’s your greatest strength? Me: I’m very independent. Him: … Me: … Him: … Me: Tell him, Mom. Mom: He is!