@SirEviscerate: I...do not understand how electricity works.
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@AlanFelyk: It’s amazing how many people can hit pine trees and drive with them still hanging on their car roofs. Like nothing happened.
@TheHyyyype: Signs that your wife is cheating on you: 1. Wearing more makeup and perfume than usual 2. Acting distant 3. Sleeping with another dude
@iRowlf: I'd like to return this pack of gum. They taste awful. "Sir, those are Band-Aids." Oh, I'd like to return these Band-Aids. Someone ate some.