@SirEviscerate: I...do not understand how electricity works.
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@Lovestained555: Look on the bright side, your insomnia keeps most of the spiders out of your mouth.
@Darlainky: After weeks of progress, I suddenly stopped losing weight. I hit a wall. *puts ice pack on hand* OK, so I was a little upset.
@TheBoydP: Friend: Let’s go to the game next week Me: Let me check my calendar Also me: (yelling into the next room) Honey!