@Storminika: I donate blood 5 times a year just so I'm less and less related to some of my relatives.
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@citizenkawala: Married With Children is a hilarious sitcom until you’re 35 and realise it’s a chilling documentary.
@RdrJay47: I'm sorry I said the Nazis were also a party when you invited me to celebrate your kid's first birthday.
@KKAlThani: David Beckham says he will retire at the end of this season, mainly because he ran out of ideas on how to do his next haircut.
@InternetHippo: *phone rings* SATAN: Hey I bought your soul on Craigslist last week? ME: No returns SATAN: Please. It's making me sad