@BradBroaddus: I don't always eat breakfast in my underwear but when I do, I get escorted out of Waffle House.
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@PaulyPeligroso: Hey, which Instagram filter takes out all the insecurities?
@Mindless4Miles: The secret to my success lies with you having a poor grasp on it's definition.
@Mr_Kapowski: Hair Stylist: What are we doing today? Me: Let's do something that will look great here but I'll have no chance of replicating at home
@Sickayduh: "I think it's about time we had a white president" - 8 year olds
@Laser_Cat: If you subtract all the sex robots those NASA nerds built, the moon landing only cost like eighty dollars.
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