@BradBroaddus: I don't always eat breakfast in my underwear but when I do, I get escorted out of Waffle House.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Amusitr0n: *Cowboy stares at the horizon* "A storm's comin" [In the distance, Darude 'Sandstorm' can be heard faintly] *Cowboy cracks a glowstick*
@joeljeffrey: Bands who can't afford a smoke machine should hire my girlfriend to cook at their concert
@LionJenkins: Rolls down car window. Throws caution to the wind. Spends an hour cleaning caution off the side of the car.
@LuvPug: Wrapping presents takes a LOT longer when your kid sneaks up behind you & cuts off your arm with an empty wrapping paper tube lightsaber.