@CVTBaby: I don't ALWAYS post filthy tweets, but when I do, it is right after I'm followed by someone with "my Lord and Savior" in their bio.
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@FroggyGonnaJump: She might be Satan, but if I'm going to hell, I want to be sleeping with the boss.
@KeetPotato: "chill before serving" is the best advice I can think of if you're an angry waitress
@michelleisawolf: This weekend is daylight savings time, which means the clock on my microwave will be right again.