@krishna_van: I don't always say 'oops', but when I do, it's usually ten minutes after I have a brilliant idea.
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@jakob_huber: Villain: We meet again, Mr. Bond Bond: You don't remember my 1st name do you Villain: Sure I do. It's uh.. Bond: C'mon this is our 3rd fight
@Dawn_M_: My online boyfriend loves me so much that once I put my money in his PayPal account he is coming to visit me.
@s_cLaN07: My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe.
@fro_vo: Waiter: how were your steak and eggs Me: just okay Waiter: oh no Me: you could say they were Waiter: please no Me: *sips mimosa* meaty yoker