@krishna_van: I don't always say 'oops', but when I do, it's usually ten minutes after I have a brilliant idea.
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@envydatropic: So many people say "if my memory serves me correctly" and I'm actually quite shocked at the amount of servants named Memory.......
@QwertyJones3: If my company really wanted us to move during a fire drill, they'd lose the alarm and just announce that there's free food by the stairs.
@PaperWash: me: [comes running down the stairs with a baseball glove] robber: why are u wearing a glove me: I meant to grab my bat lol robber: lol