@1BigMick: I don't appreciate my son's teacher circling all the wine stains on his homework.
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@KyleMcDowell86: [in car] Wife: Dont tell ur arm story Me: Im gonna stick to humorous stories 2nite babe *at party* AND THAT'S WHEN MY HUMOROUS BROKE IN HALF
@gerryhallcomedy: I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get caught up in one of those 'eat right and exercise' fads.
@justabloodygame: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give Jesus a fish, and you and your family will eat nothing but that one fish for a lifetime.