@1BigMick: I don't appreciate my son's teacher circling all the wine stains on his homework.
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@arandomhim: I bet the guy who invented the percent symbol, %, got his inspiration from watching his wife put on a seatbelt
@mattZillaaaa: Some people wake up in the morning & are all like "omg I'm the luckiest person in the world" and I wake up all like "oh my god"
@Illuminati_Stop: "WATERMELON" HAS 4 SYLLABLES. "ILLUMINATI" HAS 5 SYLLABLES. THAT'S PRETTY CLOSE. WATERMELON IS ILLUMINATI.
@teacup_giraffe: You go for a run then post your route to Facebook. I dig a hole on that route then cover it with sticks and leaves. We both get exercise.