@1BigMick: I don't appreciate my son's teacher circling all the wine stains on his homework.
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@kelkulus: Apple will start making Macs in America. In related news, Macs will now cost 3 billion dollars. #SOTU
@WilliamRodgers: YOU THINK CONDOMS ARE STUPID??? My 2yr old just cried for 45 minutes because the TV in our car isn't as big as the TV in our house...
@TheToddWilliams: This forest scent air freshener is really working. Three elk have moved into my living room.
@FriedGoat: I was raised by wolves I was then lowered by bears They really should only have one species of animal operating these cranes