@TheDairylandDon: I don't believe in Bigfoot; because he never believed in me. I'd scan the crowd at my ballet recitals, and always see that one empty seat.
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@WhiskeySoured: Never judge a book by its cover. Besides, you're on Twitter and don't even read books.
@ObscureGent: My favorite act of vengeance is befriending your dad and convincing him that dread locks would look cool on him.