@chuuew: I don't believe Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel on his back. He wouldn't get any balance laying on his shell.
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@indecision: New healthcare plan in case Obamacare is defunded: the entire country pays for hospital bills by cooking meth.
@sickipediabot: When a woman has tissues at her bedside, she has a cold. When a man has tissues at his bedside, he may have a cold.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Kristen Stewart seems like one of those missing milk carton kids who was raised by their kidnapper.
@Cllnsn: Fave bit of the Breaking Bad finale is when Ross is like "DID SHE GET OFF THE METH?" and then Rachel shows up and says "I got off the meth."