@TravLeBlanc: "I don't care how goodlooking you are if you don't have any brains." -Zombies
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@davidgrossTV: When I tell you I butt-dialed you, I'm not saying it was an accident, I just want you to be impressed.
@delusionaliam: Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it.
@PanicRestroom: Before records were invented, people used to say: u sound like an opera singer that keeps repeating himself