@TravLeBlanc: "I don't care how goodlooking you are if you don't have any brains." -Zombies
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@ChristianMingel: Trained psychologists: “Hitting your kids can cause them to be violent adults” Twitter genius: “I was hit and I never turned out violent. That’s why I can’t wait to hit my own kids when I get them”
@freypalm: Astronaut: Dave, that’s not necessary in zero-G. Penguin: [flapping wings] Just let me have this.
@krisv_723: *Gets called into HR Me: What was I accused of now? HR: I haven't had any sexual harassment claims against you lately. Is everything ok?
@bridger_w: When arguing, I let the other person speak first, then help them see my point by starting with, "Now, what I'm about to say is correct"