@TravLeBlanc: "I don't care how goodlooking you are if you don't have any brains." -Zombies
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@jwoodham: Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask "which country?"
@dog_feelings: the human. just got home. i have no idea. where they’ve been. but in their absence. they’ll be proud to see. that i took it. upon myself. to redistribute. all the footwear. i could find. throughout the household. because i decided. that was. my duty
@BoozeWallet: *opens kitchen garbage to discover there's no bag in it* *walks 6 miles to gas station to throw out kleenex rather than putting new bag in*