@yoyoha: "I DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK IT SOUNDS GROSS THAT'S WHAT WE'RE CALLING IT" - Guy who named the sweater.
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@FeelingEuphoric: BOSS: is your make up tattooed on? ME: yeah it's exhausting to have to put it on every single morning BOSS: why a clown though
@slyoung5: Lady came to front door & asked if I'd donate to new pool they're building for kids. I told her to hang on & came back with a glass of water
@Lola_Areola: Four year olds can't even go for cigarettes or anything. Four year olds are useless.
@stevevsninjas: Blind guy: I love this half-sandwich restaurant. Me: What do you mean? This place only serves whole- Service dog: *puts a paw on my lips*